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Lions Ledger

 

Elizabethtown Lions Club

 

“We  Serve

 

 January 2007

 

We are sorry to have to announce the death of one of our members, Lion Harry Reed, who passed away very unexpectedly on December 20.  Harry was an active member for a number of years and he will be missed by all who knew him.

           

President's Message

     Well, as I write this message 2007 is upon us and, as happens with the start of every new year, it is time for New Years Resolutions, those promises made to oneself that may or may not matter in February.  Self reflection and improvement is good, but please be careful.  Don’t go too far.  Consider this:  it is a fine line (one letter) between resolution (the settlement of a problem) and revolution (a complete radical change).

Work on what you think may need work but not to the point where you become revolting!  There is the danger of improving so much that your friends and family start avoiding you because you’re too different (weird). You don’t want them to ask questions like, “What happened to the guy I used to know?”  It’s taken us years to become the person we are, why change?  By staying the same we can actually help others improve.  The few faults we may have afford them the opportunity to practice virtues like patience and forgiveness.  By staying the same we help others change.  Be comfortable with the work you’ve done and what you’ve accomplished.  After all, I’ve known you Lions for several years now and I emphatically say, what a great bunch of guys – a group I’m proud to be president of.  I hereby resolve that change is not necessary!

            A final word on the Red Hats.  At the insistence of our Tail Twister, Lion Dave Mueller, I helped him with this year’s Holiday Parade (it was a set-up).  The night of the parade my job was to help parade participants line-up in the proper order of march.  The groups Lion Dave assigned to me to work with included a group called “Hattitude,” and you guessed it, they were the Red Hats.  They rode in a convertible which had a huge red hat mounted on it, that I swear was actually a gun turret and certainly would have hidden a body.  Every time I passed by I heard cat calls and whistles.  It was a very tense two hours.  Afterward I mentioned this to Lion Dave and he chuckled and said, “Don’t ever offer exemptions from my fines again.”  Well, I got the point.  No more talk from me about those lovely Red Hats and I won’t interfere with the Tail Twister again.                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                                     Lion Joe 

Programs for January

     Tuesday, January 16, 6:30 p.m. at the Bainbridge Fire Hall – this will be our annual Quad-Club meeting with the Lions Clubs from Marietta, Mount Joy, and the Conoy Club, who will be serving as hosts this year.  Please note that this is the THIRD Tuesday of the month.  There will be no regular meeting on the second Tuesday.  Car pools for our members will form at 6:00 p.m. in the parking lot of the Lutheran Church on East High Street for the short trip to Bainbridge.  Cost for the meal will be the normal $8.00, payable at the door that night.             

 

     Tuesday, January 23, 6:15 p.m. at the Elizabethtown Fire Hall –  our program this evening will be presented by Mary LeVasseur, from Lancaster General Hospital.  She will speak on the topic of Humor & Healing.  This promises to be an interesting and informative presentation – one you won’t want to miss.

 

Greeters for January

            There will be no need for greeters for the Quad-Club meeting on January 16, but for the regular Club meeting on January 23 the greeters will be Sam Zeager and Dale Williams.

 

Lion King

          The reign of Lion King Dean Dochterman continues.  Alas, there is a possibility that this may end at our meeting on January 23 when perhaps we will install a new member, and the sponsoring Lion will become the new Lion King, and begin to enjoy all the rights and privileges which accompany that title.     

 

Return to the Fire Hall

          In July 2006 a fire occurred at the Elizabethtown Fire Hall which necessitated temporarily moving our regular meetings to St. Paul’s United Methodist Church.  The church meeting room has served us well but, finally, the repairs to the Fire Hall are complete and we have been advised that our former meeting room is now available for our use so, for our regular meeting on January 23 we will again meet at the Fire Hall at our normal meeting time of  6:15 p.m.

 

Rock-Paper-Scissors Tournament

            Now, for the news you have all been waiting for ….  Since things in our Club seem to slow down a bit during the spring months, we thought those months would be a good time to hold the first ever “Elizabethtown Lions Club Rock-Paper-Scissors (R-P-S) Tournament.”  It will be strictly for fun and the great thing about such an event is that every member can do it – it doesn’t require practice, strength, exercise, planning, fitness or any of the skills usually associated with games and competition.  It is easy (you already know how to play) and non-strenuous so allmembers can participate. 

            More details will be presented at our regular meeting on January 23 but, in summary, here’s how it will work.  After the format is described at the meeting, we will draw numbers “from a hat” to determine positions on the Tournament bracket.  The size/format of the bracket will depend on the number of players and once all participants have drawn a number he/she will be placed on the bracket at that numbered slot for the initial pairings.

            Then the bracket will be prepared and at our meeting on February 13 we will hold the competition for the top half of the bracket.  At the meeting on February 27 the competition among the contestants in the lower half of the bracket will be held.  From that point forward the number of contestants should be small enough that we can conduct a complete round at each of the succeeding regular meetings of our Club until, eventually, we wind up with the Tournament winner.

            We will have a Tournament chairman who will lead the proceedings, and two judges for each round of the competition.  Once the participants are paired up on the bracket they will face each other in front of the members and the game will begin.  The first contestant to win five “throws” will be the winner of that match and will move on to the next round of the Tournament, and the loser is eliminated from the competition.

            As stated above, this is simply for fun.  There will be no “grand prize” –  although the ultimate winner will go down in Club history as the very first winner of the R-P-S Tournament. Who knows, if it turns out to be a good time we may want to do it annually.  But that decision will be made at some future time.

 

Dues Statements

            Some of you have received, or will receive, dues statements for the first quarter of 2007.  If you pay your dues annually, of course, you will not receive a statement at this time.  If you

receive a statement, the Club will appreciate the prompt payment of them.

 

Work History (and a couple more)

                My first job was working in an orange juice factory but I got canned.  I couldn’t concentrate.

                Then I worked in the woods as a lumberjack, but I just couldn’t hack it, so they gave me the axe.

                After that, I tried to be a tailor but I just wasn’t suited for it – mainly because it was a sew-sew job.

                Next I tried working in a muffler factory but that was too exhausting.

                Then, I tried to be a chef – figured it would add a little spice to my life, but I just didn’t have the thyme.

                I attempted to be a deli-worker but any way I sliced it I couldn’t cut the mustard.

                My best job was a musician, but eventually I found I wasn’t noteworthy.

                I studied a long time to become a doctor but I didn’t have any patience.

                Next was a job in a shoe factory, I tried it but I just didn’t fit in.

                I became a professional fisherman but discovered that I couldn’t live on my net income.

                I managed to get a good job working for a pool maintenance company but the work was just too draining.

                So then I got a job in a workout center but they said I wasn’t fit for the job.

                After many years of trying to find steady work I finally got a job as a historian – then I realized there

                                was no future in it.

                My last job was working in Starbucks but I had to quit because it was always the same old grind.

                SO, I TRIED RETIREMENT AND FOUND THAT I’M PERFECT FOR THE JOB!

 

 

 

James (age 4) was listening to a Bible story.  His dad read, “The man named Lot was warned to take his         and flee out of the city, but his wife looked back and was turned to salt.”  Concerned, James asked, “What happened to the flea?”

 

 

 

Each evening a bird lover, Tom, stood in his back yard hooting like an owl.  One night an owl called back to him.  For a year Tom and his feathered friend hooted back and forth.  He even kept a log of the “conversation”.  Just as he thought he was on the verge of a breakthrough in inter-species communication,

his wife had a chat with her neighbor.  “My husband spends his nights calling out to owls,” she said.

“That’s odd,” the neighbor replied, “so does mine.”

 

                    

Happy New Year to all Lions and their families!